The Squirrel Menace
by Rebell
Summary: Part IV of The Squirrel Chronicles. The twins have been wronged. Estel is the wrongdoer. Therefore, Estel must be punished. And Legolas is highly enjoying the whole thing. Poor Elrond...


**Disclaimer: **'Tain't mine, never will be…. (sighs and mumbles several colorful curses in Sindarin)

**AN: **Hey hey! I'm back, finally! I hope you enjoy the fourth installment of the Squirrel Chronicles. They are getting steadily longer, and hopefully better written. Also, they are becoming very interconnected… So sorry if there are any new reader's out there… but you're gonna have to go back and read the first three to make any sense!

Enjoy!

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"I still don't see how it's MY fault!" Estel protested. The adopted son of Lord Elrond was currently hanging upside down from a tree. His shoulder length dark hair had come loose from it ties and hung into his face. Pleading gray eyes peeked out from behind the strands, making contact with his 'brothers'.

Elladan and Elrohir made imposing figures as they stood shoulder to shoulder, arms crossed and glaring viciously. So furious did they look that Estel could very well imagine that they were a pair of extremely miffed balrogs. Their irritation flowed from them like flames, and he half expected them to leap forward and engulf him.

A stick poked him hard in the ribs: one of them had asked a question and he had been so wrapped up in the balrog idea that he had neither answered nor heard them. He decided that if he valued his life, he would stop daydreaming and pay attention.

Elladan held the stick threateningly as Elrohir asked the question again. "How did you do it? How did you know we were going to prank Ada, how did you know he would send us out into the forest for punishment, and HOW did you know when to set the squirrels on us?"

Ahhh, so that's what I'm supposed to have done, Estel mused. He had been completely taken by surprise when his mud- covered brothers had attacked him the day before and strung him up in the tree. For the past twenty-four hours he had been treated very oddly by the many elves that resided in Imladris. They had all made time in their lives to walk by the tree and see the spectacle. Some taunted him pleasantly, enjoying seeing the human caught in a trap for once instead of perpetrating it. Some congratulated him for outmaneuvering the twins, supposedly an almost impossible task. Some remarked rather loudly that he must have been quite mad to undertake such a risk. And they all laughed.

Despite how much he begged, none of them would set him free either. They did not want to incur the wrath of the twins. Or, and this reason was wildly popular, they simply wanted to see what happened next.

Elrond had even been by once or twice, mainly to make sure that his furious sons had not killed Estel, but once reassured, he also turned and walked on. Estel's cries of protest had been drowned by the bell-like laughter of all that witnessed the exchange.

The human had used all his wiles to try and escape, even feigning a dreadful stomachache to get Elrond's pity. The elven lord had paid the young human no mind, knowing quite well what Estel had up his sleeve. The ropes were firmly tied, and even if he did manage to escape his bonds, there was always an elf nearby to make sure he would not get far.

And so there he was.

Stuck. Stuck in a tree at the mercy of the twins. His life had definitely taken a turn for the worse.

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Several hours later, one could see two identical elves stalking into the forest and one young human staggering toward the Last Homely House. The elves did pause and turn to watch Estel as he tried to get his bearings after being upside down for a day and a half, smirks on their handsome faces.

They had not managed to get any information out of their little brother. He had stuck firmly to his excuse that he had no idea how things had turned out they way they did. It grew very tiresome for both Elrohir and Elladan, to hear the same sentence ("I swear I know nothing about it!") over and over again, no matter the question. The latter twin's arm had grown rather tired as well from poking the stick again and again into the ticklish human's ribs.

Finally, they had relented and let him go, both swearing unto the Valar that he would soon find himself in very deep trouble. And so they retired into the woods to plot.

They had come up with several different ideas in the space of a few minutes, but had ultimately discarded all three as being too kind. The next four were left alone as well, for they required more than two elves. They were lamenting the loss of the last plan when a voice spoke from the tree above them. "I rather liked that last one. Tell me, what has poor Estel done to deserve such treatment?"

"Legolas!" the twins cried in unison. The wood-elf dropped lightly out of the tree and grinned at them impishly. "What are you doing here?" Elladan asked after embracing his friend.

"I bring a message from my Ada to yours," Legolas replied easily. "Nothing urgent, I have been told, but important nonetheless."

Elladan and Elrohir instantly dismissed this information and began to relate the events of the last day or so. Legolas prudently reminded himself not to laugh as Elrohir described their muddy tumble down a slope, only to discover that they hadn't lost their furry companions. "Well, Estel is certainly deserving of some punishment then! Tell me, what can I do to help?"

Gleefully, the twins began to plot once more, this time spurred by the devious suggestions from their friend. By the time the sun slipped beneath the horizon, they had not only come up with a suitable plan, they had gathered many of the materials they would need as well. They reentered the house, each contented with themselves and the overall day.

Legolas was greeted with the usual smiles and feigned groans of despair from the Imladris elves. Everyone was very fond of the prince after all, despite the fact that whenever he showed up, troubles soon followed. Inevitably, as the three made their way into the long hall, remarks soon began to be heard concerning the last time Legolas had been in Imladris. Elves began to whisper of his undignified exit from the dining hall, and the high-pitched shriek that had been uttered from his throat as the squirrel charged at his face. And of course, they talked of the infamous last words he had uttered before all of Imladris before storming home to Mirkwood: "This is war!"

The blonde archer took all of the whispers and not-so-quiet-whispers quite well considering how upset he had seemed at the time of the incident. He smiled through it all and even offered corrections on some of the details. And the twins were both surprised and pleased by their companion's reaction to all this. They had fully expected him to snap at the whisperers and storm off to sulk and plot. At worst, they feared that Legolas would remember the part they had played in the prank, and begin to plot against them.

But the whispers died down and conversation returned to normal. The three plotters stayed in the hall for a while, singing and telling stories to throw off any suspicions, and then politely excusing themselves. Legolas claimed he was tired from a long day's journey and the twins quickly offered to go with him to his room.

Once out of the hall, Elrohir asked Legolas if he truly was tired, and the wood-elf reassured him that he was quite awake and alert. It was very true: he had spent the entire day lounging in the woods just out of sight from the guard's outer-most watch point. But there was no reason for the twins to learn that.

That settled, they slipped away to get ready for the night's prank.

Naturally, during all this time, Estel was fearfully securing all entrances to his room with buckets of dye and alarm bells. Once the twin sons of Elrond vowed revenge upon you, you certainly did not sit around without taking some precautions!

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Late that night, three somewhat baffled and irritated elves met outside the human's door. They had expected some resistance, but not nearly so much as what met them. Mind, none of Estel's traps had actually sprung, for the three intruders had managed to spot the buckets and bells before opening the door or window fully. They stood out in the hallway, cursing the fact that it was growing ever later. What they had planned would take some time to set up, and the minutes were ticking away.

"The little rat," Legolas hissed, shaking his head. "He anticipated this. Although," he eyed the twins appraisingly, "you probably did scare him quite a bit with your "we swear that you will regret what you have done' speech."

"How did you know about that?" Elrohir asked suspiciously. It was the twins' turn to eye the wood-elf. How long exactly had Legolas been leaping from tree to tree above their heads?

Legolas raised his hands defensively; or rather he tried to. He was hampered by a wriggling bundle of cloth. "It was not hard to hear you two. You practically screamed it at Estel's retreating back."

The twins let it go at that luckily, and they began once more to discuss how they were to get into the human's room without triggering one of the traps. They would probably be there to this day if Elladan had not remembered the secret passages that honeycombed the house of Rivendell. They wasted no time in finding the correct one and entering Estel's room. Three hours passed before they exited the room. Legolas was last to leave the room, and before he slid the panel closed, he bent and at last released the bundle. With a final whisper of instruction, he straightened and shut the panel, a devilish grin gracing his face.

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Estel came awake with a start. The sun had just risen, affording him a view (if blurred from sleep) of his room. And more exactly, the thing perched on his chest. It was so close, Estel's eyes involuntarily crossed. And as he began to realize what the thing was, he very nearly cried.

The squirrel smirked (it seemed that way to poor Estel at least) and began edge forward. The human made a desperate grab for the thing and missed as it leaped at the hollow of his neck. It scrabbled there for a brief instant before disappearing into Estel's shirt.

The resulting howl brought many elves to their feet in wonder, and blissful smiles to the faces of three very pleased elves.

Estel leaped out of bed in a panic, hands trying to catch the slippery creature. His feet slipped on the freshly greased floor and he landed on his rear with a great thud. His flailing hand caught a wire and instantly he was covered in runny, sticky, foul tasting honey. The resulting cries of dismay and wildly waving arms only served to excite the squirrel.

Estel twisted onto his stomach and rolled underneath the bed. The little rodent was too wily to be driven away by that, and followed him all the way nipping at the small of his back to keep him moving. Estel couldn't help but let out a small yelp every time the squirrel sank its teeth into his flesh: the dratted thing's fangs were sharp!

Upon emerging on the other side of the bed, Estel came to discover just how clever whoever (and he had a pretty good idea who) pranked him was. Apparently, the pranksters had not known from which side he would fall off the bed… so they had decided to trap both. Ink poured down upon the unfortunate human, splotching him all over so that he was rendered as spotted as a brindle cat.

He certainly was not as graceful as a cat as he pulled himself to his feet. The squirrel nibbled at his ear and quickly scampered away, only to come back from a different angle and crawl up his right pant leg. The claws of the furry creature sank into his knee and stubbornly clung there. Poor Estel. You see, it was no secret to anyone who cared to ask that the human's ribs were ticklish. But Estel had a carefully guarded secret. If one were to take hold of his knee by the fingertips of one hand and squeeze slightly, the human would laugh. And since the squirrel had not one hand, but four paws, each clutching at the human's knee…

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In the tree outside Estel's balcony, there perched three elves. Two were identical, right down to their teeth, bared in a grin. The other was blonde, dressed in traveling garb as was comfortable, and he too was smiling, although the cries emitting from Estel's room had far more significance to him.

The trio's smiles disappeared, to be replaced by quizzical gazes as the human's room suddenly echoed with laughter.

Legolas turned to Elladan and Elrohir and asked, "What does he find so funny?"

"Maybe he likes getting attacked by squirrels." Elrohir replied dryly.

Legolas was about to apply some biting wit to the younger twin when a fearsome screech echoed throughout the valley.

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Estel could not help but laugh as the squirrel attached itself to his knee; indeed he could do little else. Every time he tried to snatch the creature away from his skin, it would bite at his fingers. And soon he was laughing too hard to do much of anything. He was sprawled upon the greased floor; chest heaving as he took in gulps of air and expelled it in a desperate cackle.

He was so caught up in his laughter and trying to breathe that he did not notice the squirrel had let go of his knee and had disappeared.

His laughter began to subside slightly, and he had just realized the absence of his furry friend when it returned and launched itself at his head. The foster-son of Lord Elrond yowled in surprise as the tiny claws became embedded in his scalp.

Estel leaped to his feet and stumbled toward his balcony, intent on throwing open the door, ripping the squirrel from his head and hurling it out into the courtyard. He threw open his curtains and reached for the door handle.

To the amusement and delight of the three pairs of eyes that watched from the tree, Estel completely forgot about his own trap. A bucket of pink dye rained down upon his head, staining every part of his skin that was not already covered with ink. Howling, he stumbled backwards and fell onto his bed.

It was about this time that the bedroom door flew open and Elrond rushed in, having finally grown concerned about the noise emanating from Estel's room. The elven lord took a single step into the room and was caught by the other of Estel's traps.

Legolas and the twins' laughter stopped as they peered through the window and saw the dignified elf lord tangled in many, many tiny bells and splotched with purple dye. Exchanging glances, they wisely decided that it would be a good time to make themselves scarce. But as luck would have it, Elrond chose that moment to look up and out of the balcony window. His grey eyes widened in fury at the three guilty faces that stared back. Very slowly, he raised a finger and pointed downward, indicating that he wanted to see the trio right there, _right now_.

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The twin's entered first, followed by Legolas, who had gotten over his shock and was now working very hard to conceal a smile.

The squirrel had given up its assault on Estel soon after the pink dye had rained down upon them. The human was sitting upon his bed looking decidedly pink and furious.

Elrond immediately launched into a rather impressive list of punishments that he had planned for his sons. By the end, both Elladan and Elrohir looked as if they almost wished to be in Estel's condition instead. Almost.

And then the elven lord's gaze fell upon the wood-elf, who was having a great deal of trouble trying to look serious.

Something in the prince's laughing blue eyes gave Elrond pause, and he voiced a question that had suddenly risen to the front of his mind. "Legolas… Why did you feel the need to help the twins with their revenge on Estel?"

Legolas raised a blonde eyebrow and replied before he could stop himself. "Because I had already got them with the squirrels and mud in the forest yesterday, and I needed to get Estel back anyways." His blue eyes widened and a look of dread crossed his features. "Oh dear."

He cast a quick glance at the twins, who were spluttering at this bit of news, and Estel, who looked absolutely furious that he had been set up to take the fall for it all. He let out a muffled squeak and darted to hide behind the elf-lord. "_You _orchestrated all this?" Elrond asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Legolas murmured, keeping a close watch on the elven lord's sons, who were beginning to look murderous. "I was very lucky to arrive just as Elladan and Elrohir were sent out into the forest. It would not have worked so well otherwise."

"But—the message from your father!" Elrohir sputtered.

"Oh, that. He wishes me to tell you that you did well to send me home early with your dinner prank, but that my plan for revenge was much better thought-out, and that I am sure to win."

At this, all three of Elrond's sons launched themselves at Legolas, who squeaked again and fled. Elrond was left in the middle of Estel's room to survey the damage and wonder what would come next. He did not think that he could take much more squirreliness.

A chittering from the balcony caused him to look up. There perched a pink squirrel, the very one that had ruthlessly attacked Estel. The elven lord could swear that the furry critter was laughing at him.

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**AN:** I think I might just put them all in one account… what do you think of that? I think it will end up having seven parts in total… so should it be seven one-shots, or should I stick it in one account? Let me know in your review. (That's a huge hint that is…)

Anyways, thanx millions to everyone who reviewed Part Three: **A. NuEvil, Lilandriel, Alenor Peredhel, Aurehen, Daethule, Twilight Shadow, Aimme, **and **Yemi Hikari.**


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